Her story worth telling

We have ourselves a winner!!

A week ago I announced the winner of the "win your story" competition launched the 1st of March. I am so excited that I could not only record this journey for her, but that I have been part of it for so long. For various reasons she chose to stay anonymous but I salute her courage. Talking about something that lives in the deepest corners of your mind taunting you every day takes bravery. And she has done exactly that. We had a good 2 hour video call to brainstorm specifics. I am proud to call her my friend (even though we've seen ups and downs). Her story touched me so deeply because it was something that I have partially experienced myself.

I believe that most, if not all, women have gone through at least some of it. We all judge our own bodies by society's standards. We reprimand ourselves for enjoying the little pleasures in life like ice cream and chocolate. Sure there are many ways to justify it - "just to get my summer body", "oh you know I need to fit in my winter clothes again", "birthday party", "wedding" and on it goes. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight or looking after your body. it becomes alarming when food and weight loss consumes your mind and you can no longer think about anything else. THAT is where we meet with her story

Photo by Eugenia Maximova on Unsplash

LIES

Staring at a mirror

that stares right back

into every inch of everything I lack

The plastered joy in my eyes

cover up so much more

than pretended happiness lies

Smiling cheeks bundle together

but my reflection reprimands:

“They should look better”

Shoulders pull back,

try to claim confidence

but she spits again:

“you are incompetent”

I turn sideways, ready for defeat

She hates my stomach:

“This is huge because you overeat”

I try sucking it in

But one thing I’ve never been is

THIN

I examine behind, maybe she won’t be there

but there’s nowhere to hide

“look at those stretch marks, do you even care?”

I’ve plastered layer over layer

trying to make one more beautiful than the next

but no matter my efforts

it’s never at its best

Hope is a myth

Found at the end of a rainbow

Friends and family can’t understand:

There’s nothing beautiful about me, I know

The only thing she left were my feet

At least they fit the same size

Everything short from sweet

Something urges me to take a second look

They’ve carried me far

Through every cranny and every nook

To the top of every mountain

And into the streams down below

They are the lasting strength I have to show

For the pain

For the anxiety

For every call for help

To a helpless society

But when my eyes travel back up my body

I recognize each individual crack

I stare long enough to look deeper

To see they are far from black

Inside, trying to break free

Is a little girl

That tells me to appreciate me for me

to turn this misery into a storm

where, in the midst

colors are sure to be born

She tells me to love the curves

to adore the plump

Because that is what I deserve:

I deserve the help I am crying for

I deserve the love that I threw onto the floor

I deserve the confidence I have deep inside

To swell up and rise

To flood every fiber of my being

Now that is a self

Worth seeing

And you can do it to. Rise above the voice. Be deliberate about your choice, because that is the one thing you will always have. CHOOSE to see yourself as beautiful as you are. CHOOSE to see your flaws as perfectly precious. CHOOSE to see you for you.

This week,write one word of encouragement on your mirror (beautiful, gorgeous, kind, happy, helpful, adorable, kindhearted ...) and watch your perspective shift.

Comment below or on Instagram or Facebook which word you'll be looking at every day. Post some pictures and I'll share them in my stories. Let's aspire to inspire ourselves.

Time to choose a word